I know just before properly waking its gonna be an “ungood” day, not a bad day, just a day that needs more energy than usual to negotiate.
I feel the battle lines being drawn in my head & a metaphorical trench appearing around the bed, which has to be traversed.
There’s jaw stretching yawning, an inexplicable cough, numb hands & a sense of fear as excess adrenaline is produced then subsides
Mrs OOK hugs me. It’s chip night. A ridiculous, but tangible target to aim at.
There’s no real reason, today, is similar to yesterday, its just “different” somehow.
It would be so much easier to stay in bed, but fuck it, I’m not letting some chemicals beat me.
…and there’s tea & a bagel downstairs.
Hope you don’t mind me keep sharing this stuff that happens to me. I know I’m becoming a depression bore.
But I’m so grateful for a release. Tell me to shut up if you want, I’d understand x